Ummm I'm not gonna post a picture before the post coz i cant find the right picture. My life has been a livin hell to be honest. It can never get worst. My parents have been fighting....ALOT. It really frustrates me because like in Blink 182 song, Stay Together For The Kids theres this part "I see them everyday we get along so why can't they. If this is what he wants and its what she wants then why theres so much pain?" That part always tears me up because its fucking true. My siblings and our parents get along really fucking well and when it comes to them, its like a fucking wreck. Sometimes I wish they would get divorce because I'm being selfish and want all the fighting to stop. Seeing my mum crying and hearing my dad shouting to my mum is the fucking worst I can ever experienced. Yes, I might be used to it but whenever they fight, it'll always affect the children and it fucking sucks. I've always try to stay strong and not cry but I cant.... No matter how hard I hold my tears, I can't coz their room is just next to mine and I can hear every single thing they're shouting to each other. All those stuff they shout to each other are just so fucking hurtful that you feel like someone just stabbed you in the heart. It's always my dad's fault. He's always the one that will say something offensive and of course my mum will want to defend herself and it always ending up them fighting. Dad, I might write hurtful stuff about you online, cursing you, even wanting you to disappear from my life but I really fucking love so very much...and this comes from the bottom of my broken heart. Please, fucking please change. I love you, I love mum, I love this family that I can't take the risk watching this family falls apart. "oh father please father i'd love to leave you alone but i cant let you go"

ps. i miss this. we all look so fucking happy and it breaks my heart when i look at this picture coz we cant be this happy anymore and its hard to be this happy anymore.